I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
