She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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