the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
