I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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