I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
