Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
thus making me awesome and them whores
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
