well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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