if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
