quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize