omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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