"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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