you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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