How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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