i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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