I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
