...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
