Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
