I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
