Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
