I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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