sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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