You work out of a Hotel?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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