If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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