if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
