this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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