I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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