we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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