3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
