Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
