I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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