Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize