And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
