That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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