Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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