I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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