So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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