...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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