I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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