Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
