I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
