I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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