So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
