My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
