:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
