Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
