3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
