I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize