worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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