By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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