White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
someone owes me an orgasm
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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