gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
