I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nicole vs. Life
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
