So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
