It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
