Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
