no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Randomize