our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
