The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
