shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
