I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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