Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
