If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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