the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
