So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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