I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
