I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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