at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
