return my video game
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
