I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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