I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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