i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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