tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
