I need help removing her.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you never un-have a 4some
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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