is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
